I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
