I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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