I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
