and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize