There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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