Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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