its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
