and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
