The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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