I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
