I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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