sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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