it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
