apparently the secret to your success is patron
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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