2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
