Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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