Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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