2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize