My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
