...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
