I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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