Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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