Fuck appropriateness.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
