what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
