More tranny stories later!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
