Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
