ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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