I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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