erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
