i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We're too hungover to prance.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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