Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
