Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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