So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize