What did we do last night that was yellow?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
