Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
