I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
