I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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