i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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