ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
