To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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