Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
