Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
