And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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