Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
