its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
