I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
