This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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