so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
