what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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