He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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