We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love having hate sex.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
