Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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