we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
