You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize