Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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