I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
