Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
