i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
