so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
