you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
